I've never used the Lord's name in vain. Ever. My dad told me it was the only unforgivable sin, well before I had the balls to say something like it. There was a man in the Bible that had a whole swarm of bees fly down his throat after he shouted it, I've been told.
I was on the bus from Placer Hills Middle School, with my friend Mark. We were on our way home.
I almost said it. I exclaimed, "God.." and "Damn.." in succession. I did not intend this as an entire phrase, but two separate exclamations. I realized how it sounded immediately after it came out, and I dropped out of the conversation and prayed right away. With my face pressed against the leather-patterned vinyl of the tall bus seat, my backpack between my ankles, I prayed deeply that God would not forgive that I cursed, but that He would forgive the fact that some kids around me thought I said GD.
To this day, I still think about that. Whenever I say "God..." or "Damn..." I make sure I do not say them together.
Any song that I've known that has it - I won't sing along. Kanye West says it in a song. I edit it. Vanilla Ice said it when I was a kid. Countless others have used it as an unforgivable lyric.
I won't say it. I'll edit it every time.
"Gosh darn 'Yeezy now you hit 'em with a new style.."
"Gosh darn I'll be so hot I'll have to walk with a fan.."
I even feel bad about repeating those lyrics in my head to remember exactly how they went. I won't even say that shit in my head, for goodness sake (I won't say Christ, either).
I fucking thought about this on Sunday at The York, while I was standing at the urinal.
I've never used the Lord's name in vain.