Wednesday, November 16, 2011


It is worse than murder. It is worse than adultery. It is worse than anything any human could ever do. 

I've never used the Lord's name in vain. Ever. My dad told me it was the only unforgivable sin, well before I had the balls to say something like it. There was a man in the Bible that had a whole swarm of bees fly down his throat after he shouted it, I've been told.

I was on the bus from Placer Hills Middle School, with my friend Mark. We were on our way home.

I almost said it. I exclaimed, "God.." and "Damn.." in succession. I did not intend this as an entire phrase, but two separate exclamations. I realized how it sounded immediately after it came out, and I dropped out of the conversation and prayed right away. With my face pressed against the leather-patterned vinyl of the tall bus seat, my backpack between my ankles, I prayed deeply that God would not forgive that I cursed, but that He would forgive the fact that some kids around me thought I said GD.

To this day, I still think about that. Whenever I say "God..." or "Damn..." I make sure I do not say them together.

Any song that I've known that has it - I won't sing along. Kanye West says it in a song. I edit it. Vanilla Ice said it when I was a kid. Countless others have used it as an unforgivable lyric.

I won't say it. I'll edit it every time.

"Gosh darn 'Yeezy now you hit 'em with a new style.."

"Gosh darn I'll be so hot I'll have to walk with a fan.."

I even feel bad about repeating those lyrics in my head to remember exactly how they went. I won't even say that shit in my head, for goodness sake (I won't say Christ, either).

I fucking thought about this on Sunday at The York, while I was standing at the urinal.

I've never used the Lord's name in vain.

1 comment:

  1., i'm just curious about what was happening at the urinal that made think, "GD"...